There was a man (Finale)

The man stopped thinking,

when he picked up his phone;

he knew it was over,

he was such a buffoon..

The consequences was unintended,

his meaning was misapprehended..

There was never a right nor wrong,

only a simple fool penning his song..

A song of his journey,

ups and downs;

writing his misery,

in blue, black and brown...

Okay the last phrase doesn't makes sense. But it still has to rhyme. I guess. I am currently still in a state of shock after seeing that much sms-es at one go from a single person. I guess my point is that I have absolutely no intention of making u cry because obviously why would I want that to happen if all I do is encourage u all the time.. And u are not a bad girl. Definitely. I for sure am and is a bad person. For I made a girl who sincerely care for me cry because of what I wrote. Those were my honest opinions at that point of time because whatever I write is the truth and only the truth because, I hate to lie. I can't deny the fact that I was not sad or hurt but yet I do not want u to suffer the pain that I went through because it seriously sucks. Actually I want to show u something.

(No Subject)‏
15/2/2009 Chun How Poh
From: paladebaba@hotmail.com
Saved: 15 February 2009 08: 17AM
To:

Hey. I bet that u are wondering why am I writing this email to you. The truth is, I have liked u for a very long time. Everytime I see ur smile it just touches me. Lately this feeling instead has been torturing me instead. Thus, the series of events have happened. Be it the isolation or the whatever crap. Finally I tell myself today. Enough is Enough. I have been sad for a very long time and in a way I will break down very soon. I just wanna confess that I like you. But from today onwards, I will stop liking u because I think it puts u off anyway. I hope that we can still be friends though. I just hope that the awkwardness or the cold feeling towards me will totally vanish. I dun want to hate the world anymore..

From your Friend always, Sha Zi.

I actually wanted to send u this email 2 years ago.. But I remembered something happen halfway so I didnt send it in the end. I then became the weird person who stopped talking to girls until recently I guess. Maybe it became a trauma or what but I dunno. The point of me showing u this email is that it has always been a burden on my mind because maybe this email will seriously scare u off and we might not ever talk again. Yet I feel that it I do not get this off my chest I will always live with a regret. The point of this entire entry is that. I really do not hate u. Nor have I deserved anything worthy. Yes. Me. Not U. of making u cry. I just wanna say that maybe at the end of the day I have really have just gone through what everybody elses' is experiencing. It is simply life I guess. Life is not always a bed of roses I guess. But seems that Im just really allergic to roses thats all.

Haha. Just don't need to feel guilty. Or Sad. Because then that is the very reason that I am sad. To see a person who care for me feeling down. I guess maybe this is really the very last time that we might really be conversing cause I know the situation's abit awkward. But I just wanna say that no matter how long time has passed, there are some things in life that lingers on no matter how hard u try to forget...
By Chun How..
(Or for the last time..ShaZi)