Promotion Criteria - Cleared

Yup. Finally. After one year and 11 months, I am officially promoted. In this biased and fucked-up world, prejudice predominantly lurks around every single dirty alley u see. I am practically picked upon. Be it my classmates, my teachers, my parents, or even myself. I hate myself. What went wrong? I often ask. Why did things turn out this way? I wanted to be nice. To be a fucking nice dude who just hangs around with a few good friends he can deem trustworthy enough to maintain the friendship for a lifetime. Am I so screwed up? Why is it that every time I try to make people happy, they find it amusing to make me the victim of their crap talk? They are fucking selfish, inconsiderate assholes who only think of themselves. Lets call this person A, this combined fellow who comprises of all the fucked-up attitudes everyone has. He doesn't plays by the rules. He gets piss off if he loses a game, and fucking brags if he wins a game. When people tries to console him when he's feeling down, he gives a fucked up attitude back. He tries advising people with trash. He's has practically no life due to his over-reliance on the computer, literally his wife. He likes hanging around these bunch of dudes who are practically as selfish as a bastard as himself, thinking that he has so-called friends who care for him. But it is just a dream, a fucked-up void in his fucked-up mind. I often wonder, will person A survive in this world? This devastating thought is provoking me as though a thorn pierced through my flesh. It does not kill, yet the pain is excruciating enough to fuck u up. Then Im enlightened. Person A is just the definition of a human being. Everyone is selfish, believe it or not. A person who claims he/she is not selfish and tries to help others is basically more selfish than the average person A. He/she denies the person he/she is helping to help themselves, creating a over-reliability status that may lead to more disastrous effects in the future. Life is unfair. Thats what makes life... Life.
Person A/Sha Zi

Life Goes On...

Hmm... Its been what? 8 months? 9 months? I've seriously lost count... Haha. It used to hurt alot. Yea. I was rather miserable. Each day goes by as I watch her, slowly drifting away... From close friends, to friends, to classmates, to acquaintances, to strangers... This process may be perceive as long but miserably its practically like what? 2 months? Lol. Yea. Laugh Out Loud. I cant believe Im actually laughing again. This nostalgic feeling of insecurity that I had felt in the past. Maybe this was a joke all along. We belong in two different worlds. Totally. Im easily agitated, frustrated, miserable, crude, unfriendly, spiteful, a total mixture of vices and cons. But she....is Helpful,Kind,Happy,Calm,Pretty, a total angel. Sometimes I ask myself in the middle of the night. What went wrong? Was I too repulsive? Was it her hateful friends that results in the tear with our friendship? Nah. I can blame the world. But it was me all along. I was too aggressive. Jealousy got the better of me. But for what? If I didnt harshly reacted back then, would things might have been different? Maybe... But I will never know... Life is like a pack of chocolates. At first, the sweetening taste may lift you off to seven heaven. But alas. All things comes with a price. With labour, comes results. With crime, comes punishment. All things revolves around cause and effect. The sweeter it is, the after-effect of bitterness lingering around will just strike back just as hard. I still... love her.
The Faithful ShaZi.